2023 Season Recap
KoS 2023 Champion: Mitch Bryant, Esq.
Another year has come and gone and what do we have to show for it? Trophies on the shelf, medals hanging in the closet collecting dust... Imaginary bragging rights and a few more dollars in our wallets. But in the end, what does any of this really mean? What's the point? At the of the day we are but mere dust, a spec in the sky, a fart in the wind. Anyway... Lets take a look at the 2023 fantasy football season:
That being said, we had a few new and exciting additions to the league this year: Cobra returned from retirement to give us all one last chance at love (boy did we screw that one up) and we added a new member to the league after Cobra's brother in law John had "twins" and was "too busy" to play "make believe football with a bunch of bone head knuckle draggers".
And we welcomed Brett with open arms (jaws):
2023 fantasy Season by the Numbers:
8 Trades this year (Down from 12 last year)
Most Trades - Purple People Eaters (4) & Willly Ever Win Again (4)
Im Sorry Ms Jackson, Beer King, Diaper Aficionados, and Minnesota Leaping Loons did not complete a single trade all year (shame on you).
339 total transactions (395 in 2022)
Most transactions - Purple People Eaters (64) (no surprise here...) (average across league was 33.9 moves)
2nd most transactions - Mitch Bryant, Esp. (47)
599 total activations (movement within a teams lineup) (684 last year)
Rosterbator award goes to Purple People Eaters for the second straight year with 116 lineup moves
Sleepy Gary was a close second with 83 moves.
65 Total IR Moves (82 in 2022)
Dollar Store Deebo takes the Fragile Bones award with 13 IR activations (down from 21 last year)
75.40% of all FAAB was spent this year (down from 85.8% last year)
Owners had an average of $27.33 FAAB left (up from $14.20 last year)
Minnesota Leaping Loons wins Tightest Wallet again for the fourth year in a row, with a staggering $90 left.
Road to the Championship
This year's champion (Mitch Bryant, Esq.) joined the league in 2018, taking over the esteemed franchise "Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe" and immediately cleaned house. Playing under the team name "Da Bad Prince", franchise owner Quinn B. immediately made an impact on the league. Making it to his first ever championship game where he fell short to the eventual champion Sleepy Gary (led by Russell Wilson at QB).
That day solidified itself in our young protagonist's mind. "I will not eat, sleep, or bathe until I avenge my namesake and bring a championship back to my home town of Bloomington Illinois!" He muttered to himself as he watched Russell scored yet another touchdown, solidifying in the book of the life his inadequacies as a fantasy football manager.
And so life carried on. Season after season, disappointment after disappointment. Consistently finishing in the bottom half of the league. Just plain pathetic if you ask me...
Until this year.
Something clicked. Time began to move in slow motion. Firing on all cylinders. It was like he could see the Great Timeline from above. All motion became meaningless. From draft night all the way to the championship victory, this. was. his. YEAR.
Alas here we are. Draft night 2023. The nerves are palpable, especially since this was our first year doing auction drafts with a keeper. But that didn't stop Mitch Bryant, Esq. from building a core group of players to be the backbone of his team for the season to come.
Keeps Travis Etienne for a measly 5$.
Josh Allen for $32.
Isiah Pacheco for $7.
But we all know champions aren't made on draft night. No. Champions are forged from the fires of the waiver wire. The weekly grind of refreshing. Bid after bid after bid. Then, on Wednesday, September 13th in the wee morning hours of 1:32 am, our sleepless champion made the following move:
A move that will go down in history as one of, if not the best, fantasy waiver acquisitions of all time. Going into the season, Kyren Williams was nothing but a name on a paper. The chosen one, Cam Akers, was meant to lead this backfield. But after week 1, the world wasn't so sure anymore. Our champion, however, took a chance and added Kyren Williams for $0 after he cleared week 1 waivers.
Kyren went on to be the RB3 on the season.
Soon thereafter, Mitch Bryant, Esq. spent some dough on Adam Thielen, who ended the season as WR 27, but don't let that distract you from weeks 2-6. Thielen carried Mitch Bryant, Esq. who's depleted receiving corps could keep up.
And finally, the move some would say capped off his championship run was the trade with eventual runner up, Willy Ever Win Again:
Congrats to this years champion...
2023 Kings of Suburbia Fantasy Football Champion
Mitch Bryant, Esq.
👑
2023 Manager Awards
Thanks for another great season & cya next year!